Your Birth Story

I had plans for the weekend. Like pumpkin patching, hanging curtains, laundry catch-up and birthday parties. None of that happened. Unless you count the unexpected birthday that was celebrated at Valley Medical Center on Sunday afternoon.

I was 37 1/2 weeks along. It was a peaceful Saturday morning. We cooked a big family breakfast and lined up our plans for the day. Meanwhile, I had been having contractions 3-4 minutes apart. This wasn't rare. I have had them a ton throughout the pregnancy, but they started to get more and more uncomfortable. I couldn't discount them because with Lucas I felt no pain until my water broke - and he came in just 2 short hours. I'm not a fan of highway deliveries, so we packed our things and headed to the hospital.

I met my midwife in Triage where she checked and I was 4cm dilated and 80% effaced. This could mean anything, so she sent me on a walk to see what my body would do within the hour. I dilated some more and contractions were now right on top of each other, so she checked me into a room. After which, everything slowed down. Here I was dilated to a 7, still constant contractions - but less painful and checked into the hospital. Was I wasting time? I had things to do today!

This is where I start to cry. Not because of anything labor related. I had this image in my head of Lucas standing at the door, rain boots on, emergency over-night-back-pack strapped on his back, ready to come with us to get the baby. -Which is exactly how we left him. I started to feel like we were doing something wrong to Lucas by having another. I worried that he felt left out. He missed out on the pumpkin patch that he had so looked forward to which didn't help matters. My midwife is probably excited to deal with me now in tears, hubby confused with my emotions and I'm ready to go home and cancel this whole have-a-baby thing so I can hug my son and make him happy.

After much struggle, *emotions were in check*

back to the matter at hand...

Because I was still 2 1/2 weeks early, they hesitated to "help" the labor process. So, I went to bed. Jimmy and I slept beautifully. I woke up angry that I had slept in until 7:30 and that there was no progress. I walked that hospital like never before. Jimmy and I did stairs where we even almost got locked in the stairwell! There may have been a jumping jack or 2 somewhere in there as well. ;)

...Still contracting, but pain was minimal and no water breaking... Midwife takes matters into her own hands and strips my membranes. ...More walking... more nothing...

I thought back to the words from the blessing Jimmy gave me before we left. "WHEN THE TIME COMES, you will have a smooth delivery."
ANNOYED.

I was fine if the baby wasn't ready to come. I just didn't want to go home being dilated to a 7/8, completely thinned and wait for my water to break so I could rush back to the hospital. We debated, we waited and by 1pm Sunday we came to the decision to break my water. 

Just like Lucas, after the water broke the active labor only took about 2 hours. The pain was unmistakable and so intense. There's nothing that can describe it. No drugs this time-but I had Jimmy! He really helped me through the pain, as did my 2 Moms right by my side. I was not very responsive at the time, but I am so grateful for them! Jimmy was able to be very hands-on and he liked that. When it was time to push, the midwife let him jump right in, catching and handing me the baby. He delivered the placenta and even proceeded to dissect it. (Sounds disgusting - but that's my Biology major husband - and somehow to me it was cute.) We talked about how some people eat it in foreign countries or save it to plant a tree in... I know - I'm taking this afterbirth thing a little far. Jimmy thought it was pretty cool. 

What came from that complex little bag was life. I was so glad to be able to take my time with him after he was born to snuggle him and meet him for the first time. He didn't cry much. His eyes were wide with wonder as he stared into mine. He was completely calm and limp laying on my chest. This was the moment I realized that blessings come through sacrifice. That this immense pain that I just went through was to bring forth a blessing. A blessing that was LONG awaited and prayed for. I remember several times during hard labor, looking to my Mom and Mother-in-law in between contractions and asking, "why does it have to be this way?" or "why would anyone want to go through this?" My Mother-in-law came by my bedside and said something like, "we wouldn't know true blessings if we didn't know the pain." Our Father in Heaven made things this way. Life is one of the greatest blessings of all. Women carry babies for 9 months, some with agonizing pain and sacrifice. Labor is not supposed to be easy. Nor is any trial we go through. In this case the reward was so great, so the pain had to match it, I guess.

After over 24 hours at the hospital, 2 hours of intense pain and much anticipation, Boden is here.

We are so grateful for this addition to our family. He is perfect in every way. Here are some of his stats:

Born: 10/23/11 at 3:11pm

Size: 7lbs, 7oz  18 1/2" long  34cm head circumference

Appearance: Fair skin/hair - he looks strawberry blonde right now :) 

Interests: He's nursing like a champ and LOVES to sleep!

When Lucas met him he asked, "Is your name Santa Claus?" and Boden shot him a scowl. Lucas thought that was pretty funny. Boden has a brother who is head over heels for him and wants to be part of everything. Lucas even took the "first bath" with Boden. (Boden pooped in the water which made the moment *extra* special)

Faye and Mom

 Lucas: not sure what's going on

Welcome to the family, little Boden. We sure do love you!

10/1/11

October is here! Though you're not "due" until November 8th, there is still a chance we could meet THIS month! We are so ready for you. Lucas threw his first ever public FIT when we were in the store the other day. Why? Because HIS baby brudder NEEDED to have a baby panda pillow pet. I tried talking him into getting it for you for Christmas, or when you're old enough - but no luck. It just couldn't wait. So there, be glad your brother is already looking out for you. Lucas also talks about you needing to have a piggy-back-ride from Daddy when you get here. He has so many plans for you.

I can't tell you how grateful I am that I get to help bring you into this world. There are a lot of scary, bad things here - but even more beautiful, happy blessings that you'll get to enjoy and I can't wait to see you experience them. I can promise you that no matter what happens, if you choose the right and listen to our Father in Heaven, everything will be that much easier. You will have nothing to fear. You have a family here on earth to help you through hard times and scriptures as a guide as you journey through life. You know your Heavenly Father loves you. He will miss you while you are gone - but if will be your Daddy and my job to love you the same way while you're here on earth and through eternity. I hope you know how much I already love you. I'll see you SOON!

hugs & kisses,
"mommy"

9/11/11

This summer has FLOWN by! Summer is my favorite time of year - but this year all I can think about if FALL and wanting YOU here! I have kept really busy with work and that has helped time fly. It unfortunately has caused a lot of early contractions. I feel you moving in my Tummy constantly and love to feel you hiccup! Lucas and Daddy also love to feel you. After Lucas feels you, he always announces to everyone, "You gotta feel my baby brudder!" I keep telling him you'll be here after Halloween - he just can't wait. Lucas, Daddy and I put up your crib last week. I can just see it now - Lucas climbing in with you. I also just washed and folded all your adorable, itty bitty baby clothes! They are so cute! We have NO CLUE what to name you. Nothing sounds right. Maybe we'll have to wait to see you first. :) Lucas has mentioned lately that your name should be "Skywalker". I don't know where he got that one - but we'll keep our options open.

We are so excited for your arrival and can't wait to be a family of FOUR. You are such a blessing and we can't wait to see your sweet face! Love you!

hugs & kisses,
"mommy"

July 6, 2011

Hello to my sweet angel baby. Your Daddy and I always knew you were coming, but learned great lessons of faith and patience before you were actually on your way. January of 2010 was when we came to the decision that WE were ready for you to come. Our timing was not the same as Heavenly Father's. We quickly became frustrated that two ready, loving parents couldn't have you when we wanted you. This was a very emotional time for me. I felt like I had so much more to give and wanted to serve in the role of a mother again. The Lord needed my services elsewhere and for over a year I was confused as to where.

I started to put forth efforts in other areas to serve. I started up a photography business on top of my other hair business. I hoped that would keep my mind off wanting another baby. (no luck) I continued focusing on my talents in other areas and working hard. I also kept Lucas very busy in toddler activities and began watching your cousin, Sadie. I felt busier, but still somehow wanting YOU.

After a year of hoping to get pregnant, your Daddy and I sought the help of a doctor in hopes that she could help us find out if we had any problems. At my last Dr. visit, she said there's no chance for me to get pregnant this month, but to wait another month and take some pills that might increase our chances.

*Meanwhile, I had planned to attend the temple with a friend. I thought this would be a good time to talk about some of my concerns with her and also take them up with Heavenly Father in the temple. Before we even left, there was a concern with your Grandpa Fagan. I thought I should take his name to the temple. On the way to the temple, my friend emptied her problems in my lap. I had no room to talk about any of my concerns. In the middle of her talking, I got a phone call from another family member who needed help and someone to listen. I said I would also take that name to the temple. For the past few months, I had also felt great concern for my Grandpa Hansen, so of course... I added his name to the list.

After all was said and done, I brought several other issues to the temple, hoping that these people might feel some kind of relief from their pain. It wasn't until I finished my session when I sat in the beautifully lit celestial room that I realized that I had forgotten to pray for myself. My first feeling was anger. Here I was, feeling what seemed to be the entire universe's problems, feeling such sorrow for those who were suffering that I forgot the REASON I went to the temple in the first place. Almost as soon as I felt that anger, I felt peace. As I sobbed to Heavenly Father, I could almost hear the words, "You are doing exactly what you should be doing." and I remembered that "When ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God."

Did I have an immediate answer to my problems? No, but I had the strongest sense of peace. I left the temple feeling like even though I didn't pray for myself that day, my Heavenly Father knew exactly what my problems were and what I was feeling. I still yearned to be a Mother again and wanted so badly to hold a sweet new baby, but I felt peace. I was blessed just knowing that I was in the right place, doing the right things at the time they were needed. It was no coincidence that my family decided to call me for help that day, or that I had the feelings and thoughts of those in need while on my way to the Holiest place on earth... I was just a tool and was so blessed by being able to help them with a simple prayer in the temple.

Later that month, I found out that I was pregnant! Let me remind you that medically, my Dr. told me I "could not get pregnant this month". What a miracle and direct blessing from obedience you are! We are SO excited you are coming to our family. Your big Brother, Lucas is very excited to take care of you. He first told me that you were going to be a girl named "Oscar." Now he thinks you are a boy and should be named "Elephant", or "Carter" after Uncle Jeramy's dog. :) We have other names in mind, no worries.

We love you and consider you a HUGE blessing and have learned so much trying to get you here. I can't wait to meet you!

hugs & kisses,
"mommy"